Breathe.

It is with a sad heart and a awakened spirit that I write.

After a stressful day on the nursing front, I drove home with an anxious mind brewing, my invisible demons employing their inner abuse. I look back on the past and obsess about things I can no longer change. I look ahead to the future with worry and fear of the unknown. And just like that, another moment passes me by.

I got home, exhausted. I climbed into bed and let sleep overcome me. Upon awaking, I immediately grabbed my phone and mindlessly started to scroll through the endless realm of social media. That is when I saw her, a beautiful picture of an old friend’s little girl. My heart sank as I read the caption below stating that after a tragic accident while on vacation, she was gone, much too soon. And just like that it hit me, the tragedy of all these moments I let slip by. How precious life is, yet I continue to worry and complain despite how truly blessed I am in this moment, the only one I have.

It is the days that I don’t get on my mat, on my knees in gratitude for the breath in my lungs, that my anxiety can truly take hold. I forget to breathe through the chatter and instead start to believe all the lies saying “you are not good enough.” Four years ago, I lost a friend to this darkness. It was a loss that also made me reflect and truly respect the breath that sustains me. After receiving the news of her death, I sat down with a sad heart and an awakened spirit and I wrote. I think it is a fitting reflection today in honour of another beautiful soul who has now passed on.

Carefully protected to ensure we get a first breath

Carried in the womb, a perfect life from conception to birth

Breathe deep, life is fragile

Breathe deep, life is short

Breathe deep, from the first to the last

A careful first step, but we fall many times

Do you see that life is precious with every smile and every tear?

Breathe deep, life is beautiful

Breathe deep, life is fast

Breathe deep, from the first to the last

Heaviness in the shadows, hope in the light

Do you know you are perfect with all the imperfections you try to hide?

Breathe deep, life is turbulent

Breathe deep, life is uncertain

Breathe deep, from the first to the last

The end is not calculated, an unknown in this equation

Keep breathing deep, you are perfect, from the first to the last

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2 comments

  1. Audrey · March 26, 2015

    I am praying today that the Lord will continue to encourage you and sustain you with His love, as do we. You are precious to us and may others!

    Like

  2. Chantal · March 29, 2015

    You are much more than just “enough” Larisa! So, so much more. Sending you lots of love and extra hugs.

    Like

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